January 9, 2017: Day +51

Last night Doug and I both got a little break.  The hospital provided a sitter for the night.  That way I was able to leave the hospital, knowing Doug had someone sitting with him and was there to help him or get help if he needed it.  And Angie came home and spent the night with me.  We watched a movie, had a glass of wine and then settled into bed.  That was the first movie I have seen in over a month.  It may be my first whole TV show too.  There was a bit of normalcy.   My sister volunteered to come in and be with Doug from 7:30 to 10, allowing me a little rest, since Angie and I did not get home until 10:30 and then we watched a movie until 1:00. I needed just a bit more sleep.  So thankful!

I met with Dr. Von Flue this morning.  My prayer was for wisdom and guidance in meeting these new challenges.  Dr. Von Flue shared with me the possible options to deal with the blood in Doug's stool and consideration for a gastric feeding tube and potential tracheotomy. He had also met with the Dr. Jackson the pulmonary specialist who has been working with Doug since we first came to the hospital.  It turns out that they were on the same page as I am.  We agreed to wait, to see how Doug's is doing and responding.  They said there was not significant blood in the stool.  Since he is handling the feeding tube fairly well, his swallow is improving and he continues to get more movement of his body; he may not need the feeding tube much longer.  We can avoid the trauma of surgery if we can hold out a little longer.  So that is the plan for now.  Also Doug's white blood and red blood counts are very low.  Dr. Von Flue has agreed to bring in a hematologist for consultation. I am very glad about this.  I had hoped they would have worked with Dr. Ruiz from Mexico, but I will settle for a local hematologist.

Some good news for today is that Doug moved his right foot from the ankle and he was more limber when the physical therapist did his stretching. So now we have moving his head side to side and up and down, shrugging his shoulders, making a slight fist with both hands, helping to move his own arms in a downward position and a full range of facial expressions.  He is also talking so that he is understandable in full sentences.  He watched TV for the first time since he was they placed the tube in his throat.  He watched the Governor's State of the State Address. After that he was ready to turn the TV off.

He really hates to have me leave him, but I do sleep better at home. The hospital had a sitter for him again tonight.  We were waiting to have the sitter arrive around 10:00 pm.  I went out to ask for more wash clothes and there was a woman outside the door checking messages on her phone.  I saw that she had a badge on.  I asked her if she was working.  She responded with "What do you want?" rather gruffly.  I asked her if there was something wrong.  She said pointing toward Doug's room that once she goes in she can't leave and again asked me what I wanted.  I told her I only wanted wash clothes, but if she was going into my husbands room I only wanted someone who could be tender and caring towards him. She said I can take of that.  So here I am in a dilemma.  Do I leave him for the night with her, when he really wants me to stay.  She came in sat down without introducing herself and started working on a portable computer.  Oh great! I decided to wait until his nurse Wayne got back and talk to him about her.  In the meantime I reassured Doug, said they could call me, read him the comments from the blog and prayed with him. I also read him a poem, Kate Malone, a friend of ours had sent on Epiphany.  He told me he was scared and would like a miraculous healing.  The thought of laying helpless in bed again tomorrow is frightening and overwhelming to him.   I keep encouraging him, reminding him he is getting better.  I think more fears have come these last couple days with our scare a couple nights ago and the doctors' visit yesterday.

When I left I told Doug I would see him in the morning.  He told me not to be too late. :)

Lord of Light and Love, you have created a planet filled with awe.  Your servant Doug is praying for a miraculous healing.  His prayer is to gain his strength and his ability to move.  He asks that you hurry to heal him so that his suffering is stopped. May he also be filled with courage and confidence in your healing power and rejoice daily in the signs of his returning health.  In your name we ask.  Amen