March 28, 2017: Day +128

Deer ourside of St. Luke"s

Two nights ago when I came out of the Elks, it was about 10:00 p.m.  It was very quiet and dark and there was no one around.  To have the deer come out of the neighborhood and crossing the sidewalk was mystifing.  They seem so out of place. That night I had left the hospital very concerned for Doug's readiness to come home.  I felt anxious.  And then out of the darkness came the deer. With being captivated by them I felt my body quiet and my spirit nurtured. A little unlike me I decided that I would do a little internet search of the symbolism of the deer and this is what I found.

"We are also reminded that we cannot push towards change in others, rather we gently nudge them in the right direction with love and understanding. Lead by doing and showing the way."  (http://www.spirit-animals.com/deer)

I needed this reminder.  I had been pushing Doug to consider the difficulty of coming home too soon for both of us.  I had been pushing him to remember our goal for hiim to walk. Additionally, I was preparing  for battle with the therapy team to keep him longer.  This symbol, helped me to remenber that people are much more likely to join our vision with love and understanding.  I will reset, and approach the next few days differently. My own spirit will be more restful with this approach.

Doug's OT came to our house today to make recommendations for his needs.  I know that she really wants to help.  I think coming today helped her to see that we are prepared.  We moved 2 years ago to a house that could meet Doug's physcial needs with limited mobility difficulties.  There are still a few things that may need to be changed if Doug does not regain the same level of mobility.  I have decided to wait to make those changes.  My daughter Angie took the bedroom door and frame out to allow more room for Doug to get into the bedroom and to bring the Hoyer Lift in.  We have the new bed with the adaptable mattress.  Also we have a wheelchair that will allow Doug to lay back and take preasure off his bottom.  He has a recliner that is electric and will allow him to lay back and help him to stand.  He can come into the office to use the computer, the room has double doors. We may have to create a roll-in shower.  But instead of spending the money, we are going to wait to see how Doug progresses.  We have a walk-in shower in the master bedroom that will work if he can stand and step into the shower.

Now for the great news.  Doug took a few steps on his own today using the parallel bars! He was so pleased and I am very excited for him.  This is a big step forward. Walking was the moment we have been waiting for these past months. The feeling was like the first day that he fed himself.  We keep moving forward!

And so we pray.

God of Promise, we give you thanks for your presense in our lives.  Seeing the deer was a reminder of the beauty of creation and the assurance that life is bigger than our current worries. The deer was a reminder to stop, breath deeply and to be gentle.  It was a reminder to trust. We give you thanks and praise for Doug walking.  We have waited for these few steps.  These steps remind us to continue to hope and to believe that all things are possible, trusting in your goodness, as we continue this journey to wellness and healing.  Thank you for this day.  Amen