December 19, 2016: Day+30

It is hard to know where to begin the blog. Each day is such a roller coaster.  I awoke early this morning.  It was a difficult night for sleeping.  I went into the kitchen to make myself a latte.  In starting the machine, I soon figured out I was out of water.  Well, I never fill the water reservoir, Doug always has done this. Followed by this I went to feed Stryder and my grand dog who is here keeping him company while I am gone these long days.  I never feed Styder.  Doug insists that he wants to feed the dogs, no matter how hard it has been for him to get around.  And then, I needed to make my bed.  Doug always makes the bed, something else he insists on doing, even though it has been hard for him.  I told my daughter-in-law Corinne when she got up, that in some ways it is harder to be at home. Everywhere I look in the house fills me with memories of our life together.

Getting to the hospital, we learn that Doug had a bit of a rough night.  However, they were able to bring his temperature down.  It was normal all day today.  His blood pressure was within a normal range and for the most part his heart rate was below 100.  These are all good signs.  And then when Corinne was reviewing his file she found that there are indications that Doug had a heart attack. When we asked the doctor, he confirmed that they believe this happened.  I said that he had a electrocardiogram in Mexico and when the the cardiologist evaluated him and the tests, his heart looked good. This was a shocker.  Then there is concern that his pH levels are low.

The doctor met with us and again told us that Doug is in a critical condition.  He is very concerned. He shared some of the recent blood work and tests.  At this time they still don't know what is causing Doug's problems. He also told us that it is possible that Doug will need to be transferred to St. Al's in Boise.  They have more specialists available to help solve the mystery of what is happening to Doug.

In the meantime the manager of ICU asked if she could meet with me.  She heard that I am concerned about the care Doug is getting.  I spent about an hour with her and shared all my concerns about a few of the nursing staff.  I shared with her how difficult it is to have a different nurse, aide and doctor almost everyday.  It is especially difficult when Doug is high needs, in critical condition, and I am so worried about him, and I am having to teach and share information about Doug at every shift change, develop a relationship with the new nurse and develop confidence that the nurse will have the skills to work with Doug.  When you are a caregiver and your loved one is in ICU it is very stressful and this adds one more stress.  I have complained to the doctors and my friend Bev spoke with the nurse supervisor,  and now since Friday, Doug's care has been much better.  His current nurses have been outstanding.The nurse supervisor apologized and is trying to put the same good nurses with him. It was a long conversation and I spilled it all out.

I had the blessing of Angie, Tom and Cole coming again today.  They had lunch with us and spent the afternoon at the hospital.  Angie, Tom and Corinne had time together while I had the opportunity to visit with my Kuna friends and colleagues, Wendy Johnson, Kelly Walton, David Reinhardt and Kim Bekedahl. They have all been so good to us.

It has been really nice having Corinne here.  She understands all the procedures and tests.  She helps me to understand how Doug is really doing and is able to ask the staff clarifying questions for us.  As we left tonight Doug seemed much more stable even though he is on the ventilator.

I asked to see the chaplain this afternoon.  I asked to schedule a healing prayer service in the chapel at 6:00 at St. Al's on 12th avenue in Nampa.  The hospital chaplain gave the OK and about that same time Fr. David Wettstein and Mother Karen Hunter stopped in.  They both agreed to lead the service.  I hope that all of you who are available will come.  Your prayers are greatly appreciated.

And so we pray:

Holy and life giving Lord, this is the week that we prepare for the new life that is offered on Christmas. I know that this new life may take many different forms, but that the most important message of the season is God with us.  God, be with us as we pray now and as we pray together tomorrow night.  Help us to shine the light of love and healing on Doug as he struggles to breath. Give us hope in our sorrows and strength to believe and hold the faith that you are doing better things for us than we can ask for or imagine.  Amen